We met in the doorway, Daniel and I. He was getting the milk for our tea, and I was putting away the last of the stray objects that had littered our floor that evening. The lights were dim, and our mugs waited. But we stopped, and grinned at each other.
The grin of parents with an exhilarant secret.
I find it hard to comprehend that I am that person who prays away nightmares, kisses bruises and plans the weekly dinner menu. The one who will star in my children’s memories of childhood, for better or for worse.
And we are always making memories. Some will last longer than others.
This weekend it was our epic puppy surprise.
For them, it was knowing daddy was bringing something special home. Their guess was chocolate, and then, ta da! The puppy they had been asking for for years.
For me it is simply our early mornings spent outside watching his tail wag and throwing balls and hearing little voices call him to follow. Together.
And goodness has just taken me by surprise.
The goodness of family surrounding me. The goodness of friends. The goodness of opportunity given. The goodness of dreams realised.
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life.*
Even when I’m walking in a different direction, love pursues.
Like this new puppy of mine, it’s chasing me, biting at my heels, following after me, even as I chase my own versions of happiness.
And I’m overwhelmed at that pursuing, chasing Love that I absolutely don’t deserve.
Even while I’m cleaning up after a toilet-training puppy.