stuck in the in-between

How often do we try to rush through things because they’re hard, or because they hurt? 
Some seasons are neither here nor there and right now it is causing frustration.

I’m here, a hare, trapped in a tortoise body, wanting to run but being held back and forced to slow down. The forced slowing brought a melancholy. A despondency. But it’s okay not to be okay. The in-between is stretching and taxing and exhausting but even though it’s painful, I know I need to relax and ride it out. Trust in God-timing and be brave enough to be present in the right-here-right-now. Even when it hurts. Even when it’s lonely. Even when doubt comes. Be here and embrace the ugly.

Yes there are dreams in my heart, yes there’s vision for the future. But here, in the in-between, in the stuck-in-the-slow-transition-place monotony? I just rest. And sometimes cry, and that’s okay. The best thing to know about the transition season is that it’s the in-between, that something is coming. Eventually the shot-gun sounds and we’ve been released to be off and running. And the days before we hear that sound serve a purpose too. To build our resilience, to drive us to dig deeper, to stretch our faith and increase our trust. So when we finally run, we’ll have endurance and direction. 

Until then, sometimes the wise and necessary thing is to pull back, reframe my boundaries, know when to say no. Pull my head in to my tortoise body and fill my mind and heart with that which builds my faith.
And other times I drag myself out into the cold and find that actually it’s not as cold as I thought it would be – and the Vitamin D and company does wonders for my soul.


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