How easy is it to form a judgement on someone else’s life?
To compare what we know of our own messes and failings to perceived perfection of someone else.
I forget this often.
I look at women who seem like they have it all together.
Amazing jobs, faultless husbands, kids who do ballet and piano lessons and everything in between.
Of course, somewhere in the part of my brain that houses common sense I know that her life isn’t perfect. But it looks it, and if I’m honest, that’s the part I often place the most value.
It’s easy to feel intimidated. It’s easy to get trapped in comparison and competition.
But it’s not until you get up close and personal that you begin to understand and appreciate their journey.
And to be able to get up close and personal we need to drop our own guarded perfect exteriors.
Because usually, behind the exterior, she’s just like you – she’s got her broken bits, and she’s walked tough journeys. And she’s not your competition.
The women in my world are a prime example of this.
The ones you’d never know are walking out brave steps are often the ones who’ve faced the biggest trials, grieved the biggest grief, fallen down again and again and still walk with their head high.
The biggest way that I’ve been able to cut comparison out of my life is to cultivate a culture of championing.
Of turning comparing into cheering.
Cheering for the single mum, paving her own way, fighting for independence and working to provide for her child.
Cheering for the beautiful girls who continue to be amazing mothers to little ones, after losing their own mothers.
Championing the hurting ones, who refuse a victim mentality.
Encouraging the ones walking creative paths of vulnerability even when she questions her own worth.
I run alongside these women.
Ones who’ve known heartache, who’ve lost babies and loved ones, who battled sickness and cancer, who fight for their families, go to bat for their husbands, or continue to hope that their dream of finding her tall dark and handsome, will be fulfilled.
The truth is that if we are content to stay in our own lane we can champion other women.
Because comparing ourselves only robs them of our encouragement, and robs us of their friendship.
My thoughts for today.