journal | it’s simple really

I wrote a little New Years reminder on my board yesterday:

Read more books
Write every day
Run further
Log off
&
Choose grace

I have a swirling list in my mind about what I need this year to look like.
But I’m far enough along in my life to know that life rarely turns out the way we expect.
The last few months I’ve felt like I’ve had the rug ripped out from under me. Heck, probably the wood floor was ripped out and maybe the ground underneath that too.
Crazy things happen, and instead of holding my breath and letting my frown lines deepen I know that that last thing up on my list right there is the key: choose grace.

Because I need it the most.
I need grace to consume me: strength in my weakness, gaps filled in my imperfections, and acceptance in all the ugly beautiful mess that I am more often than not. 
Then this messy and grace-filled me, full of gaps and holes, can leak that grace out everywhere.
To the husband who’s human, and the friends who didn’t think, and to the lady who cut me off only to drive way under the speed limit. Grace, grace, I’m choosing grace. 
Because in the end, my choice of sweet-smelling grace instead of the stench of bitterness affects me more than anyone else. 
And this year as I am expectant of big change and maybe even the anticipation of another upended rug or two – it’s simple really. I need to rest in a river of grace. 

xx