My face is still red, hot from my run.
I’m buzzing with endorphins—the ones that come naturally from moving my body, from pushing through despite the stitch, and from my feet pounding (shuffling, maybe) the paths that wind around our seaside peninsula. Then there’s the happy knowing that I achieved a small goal, a determination to reach 5km again in my running. So my face is red hot, but I’m smiling and kissing my kids like a loon when I get home sweating.
I find myself singing aloud while I’m making my breakfast, and the smell of the sourdough baking has made me euphoric.
It’s a good morning.
It’s good because I chose it that way.
It’s good because it’s a contrast to others that haven’t been. The ones where I couldn’t wake up, where the covers were a weight and I cursed the sun for rising too soon.
It’s good because I know that wherever I am, and whatever is swirling around me, God promises to keep leading us forward.
It was this morning’s Psalm.
Psalm 28, and the very last verse.
“Keep protecting and cherishing your chosen ones; in you they will never fall. Like a shepherd going before us, keep leading us forward, forever carrying us in your arms.”
Keep leading us forward.
I think God is concerned with our stuckness. That if he can’t lead us forward, if we’re stuck, He’ll just carry us.
My prayer lately is that I am not stuck.
It’s easy to to fall into the trap of replay, of going over and over something in your mind, of being stuck in the refreshing of the same hurts or emotions or thought patterns.
Oh God don’t let me be stuck here.
He promises to lead us forward.
I think one of the keys to moving forward is to acknowledge where we’ve been stuck, what it is we’ve been stuck in—give it a name, give ourselves permission to feel it and then we can be lead forward.
Isaiah 48:18 says this:
Stop dwelling on the past.
Don’t even remember these former things.
I am doing something brand new, something unheard of.
Even now it sprouts and grows and matures.
Don’t you perceive it?
In Philippians 3:13 Paul writes about the importance of letting go:
“I don’t depend on my own strength to accomplish this; however I do have one compelling focus: I forget all of the past as I fasten my heart to the future instead.“
It’s easy these days to dwell. Isolation has forced is to slow down, and we can’t avoid ourselves. Even in our social connecting across platforms like Zoom or House Party or FaceTime, we’re faced with an image of ourselves right there in front of us too.
But this time of quieting our souls and really living with ourselves can be just what we need to acknowledge what it is we might need to let go of.
And it might be painful.
I may have run 5 kilometers, but during the last two I had a sharp stitch in my ribs. I wanted to give up and walk but I didn’t. I stuck my chest out, I breathed more deeply through the pain, I grimaced and tried to stretch out my ribs, my lungs but the pain continued.
So I kept my eyes ahead. I pressed forward, fastening my heart to the finish line.
Because even through the pain He promises to carry us. Forward.
Keep moving. xx